37.733 Miles

TT Isle of Man

I hate motorcycle games. Other than the fact that I’m not very good at them, there’s a good chance that there’s a deep psychological trigger for me reminding me that I’m not very good at riding the real thing either.

In either case, I’m a sucker for a free game and a few easy achievements, and so with one of this month’s Games with Gold being the TT Isle of Man, I put my metaphorical helmet back on and took to the streets.

To be honest, there’s not a lot different about TT Isle of Man from almost any other motorcycle racing game I’ve played – and I guess that’s not necessarily unexpected, but in an age where driving games like Forza can really innovate, I guess I expected … more.

After struggling through the rather bland and long-winded tutorial (it probably wasn’t that long, but boy it felt like it), I did a quick check of the achievement list to see what was a reasonable few challenges to tick off the list. The single lap of Snaefell Mountain seemed to be a reasonable result, thinking that – like other races – it would be a few minutes of bike-riding pain to earn a quick-and-dirty cheevo.

Twenty minutes into the ‘race’ though (and I used the term loosely – it became apparent a few minutes in that I had no chance of being any sort of challenger), and I regretted my decision. Bland environments, terrible compatibility between player and game and just an all-around insufferable achievement, and needless to say I’m glad that I did it and don’t have to do it again.

I’m sure there’s a niche motorcycle racing market out there.

I’m just not it.

CSR Racing 2

At no point in the opening of CSR Racing 2 do you find out what exactly CSR stands for. Nor, too, the Wikipedia entry for the game series. And so, before you even start to comment on the quality of the racing in this game, you find yourself asking: what the hell does CSR mean?

Well, nobody can tell you with 100% certainty, but the consensus appears to be “Custom Street Racer”, and while grammatically it still gets a pass, I have to say, it’s not great to have ‘Racer Racing’ as good structure.

Perhaps the greatest sin though isn’t sentence structure, but rather the face that the most I could ‘custom'(ise) my car was to give it a lick of paint and change the rims.

Mate. GTA San Andreas had more customisation than that, and the game is fifteen years old!

The racing sets in the game are actually quite good fun. The fact that it is pretty much a tactical shifting of the gear, as well as the control of the garages demonstrate that you know your stuff.